I need to know which of these two stories is scarier.

Don Von Alpha Dom
by Don Von Alpha Dom · 15 posts
13 years ago in Help & Support
Poll

Which of these two stories is scarier?

Silence 33%
33%
Mirror 67%
67%
Posted 13 years ago · Author
Silence:
This is the link to the official story on DeviantArt Comments are much appreciated. http://shaekindlewood.deviantart.com/#/d30qrog

ShaeKindlewood wrote:
Shadybrook. The decrepit old asylum, miles deep into the forest, always seemed serene to you. Now, you visualize the chaos unraveling behind those barbed wires. Jackson Seethom. You still remember the story of the freakishly pale, blonde teen, convicted of over a dozen grotesque homicides, pleading insanity.

Escaped.

'Focus!' You order yourself, pondering, 'why be freaked out'? Trying desperately to reason with the chills creeping uncomfortably up your spine, you point out that, being in an SUV, you can easily fell any psycho on foot. Besides, dawn is mere hours away and you're nearly through the unsettling forest.

Suddenly, with heavily strained eyes, you spot a tall and dark figure. Swerving, your car barrels off the blacktop and flips, rolling violently down the precipitous incline before jerking to a halt, slamming painfully into a the thick base of an ancient oak. Writhing in agony, you drag yourself from the gnarled metal that was once a vehicle. Shattered glass twinkles, chiming beneath your bare, bloody palms.

The intimidating figure towers above you, hooded in a black cloak, clutching a scythe, the deadly blade glistening in the thin wispy moonlight, poised to finish the gruesome task. Whimpering, a cold sweat slips down your skin and south of your furrowed brow. Your fading heartbeat races, pounding against your sternum.
Changing into a translucent smoke, the reaper vanishes from sight, as aid rushes beside you. Death smirks wickedly, accepting the inconvenient intermission, watching you limp away with your blonde 'savior'.

Your death, merely postponed.


Mirror, Mirror:
Again, the original, http://shaekindlewood.deviantart.com/#/d30mjlk and once more, comments are welcome.

ShaeKindlewood wrote:
When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?

People say if you do, you'll never truly be alone. I liked what I saw… but the feeling wasn't mutual. When I looked into the mirror, they stared back with contempt. Terrifying fangs and claws like blades that frequently writhed lustfully to be free, to shred me apart. I saw my demons. Each a reflection of my inner emotions that were cunningly cradled deep beneath my innocent façade. They all sat, snarling and glaring lividly.

I used to pray to the demons desperately for some solace from that racking torment and ridicule I received from those around me. I suppose my pleas were strong, for one day, the mirror cracked and began shattering to reveal a vast, unending chasm of the darkness within me. That was all it took. My demons: free. They tore at me and changed me, transforming me into something just as hideous and vain as they. Then they locked me away in the mirror. All the good and rational thoughts locked away, just as I had locked the bad things away.

Fully empowered physical entities, incarnates of my own cruel feelings, now force the descent of crimson rain each passing day. Mercilessly discombobulating those detested and innocent alike, mutilating them, and defiling their blood. Now I sit, still without solace, alone, without even a reflection to keep me company.

So, enlighten me. Do you like your reflection?
More importantly…
Does your reflection like you?


Please help me out, my wife is trying to figure out which one she wants to enter in a contest.
Source: http://shaekindlewood.deviantart.com/
---- Edit By Shae
I want to thank everyone for the feedback I've gotten so far. Its awesome I'm getting this great a reaction. Let me start by saying, since this was for a contest, there was a limit to the amount of words I could use. I wouldn't describe this as a short story, but as an atomic spec of a story. 250 words maximum and if you'd like to count, go ahead, I'm at 250 exactly. The people around me entering complained that 250 was too long but, as an eccentric writer, I almost died hearing the condition. So if anyone feels the need to complain in anyway about the length or what I may or may not have put in, I'm sorry. I really am, I tried to get as much as I could squeezed into 250 words and both of these stories got edited and revised a million times over. To give you an idea of what a struggle this was for me, a SHORT short story to me is... 10 pages long, typed.

Second, I would like to address the two stories. Everyone has given me great feedback but the people around me and those who read the rougher versions, asked for a more in depth explanation to these stories. So if you really don't give a shit... skip my wall of text, lol.

The two stories were written in different perspectives and were completely different and meant for utterly different audiences. Silence is written in second person, where I tell the story from your point of view. I have never tried this before and I suppose this was a sort of experiment. This was my absolute first time writing in second person, so if there is some confusion as to what the hell is happening, just ask I'll be glad to clarify. This story was also based for people whom sometimes aren't extremely open minds or philosophical. It has a very straightforwards approach to it. You know whats going to happen. It is very obvious, but, being written in second person, it plays on the very real fear that, this, in physical theory, though not probable, is indeed possible. It could happen. Some psycho could get loose, your driving in the woods, crash due to a thick fog, hallucinate a little, and then get caught by the crazy guy. It isn't likely though. It again, plays on real, physical, possibilities.

Mirror, Mirror is written in first person. I have written in first person several times. I used to only write in third but, after experimenting a little, I found I quite liked the perspective because I could more easily hide things from you, the reader, as if I am narrating without telling you the whole story. It really gives the effect that lets your imagination play around with it. Anything could happen. This piece, unlike Silence, is written to circle around more psychological fears. Obviously, we aren't going to get locked in mirrors and watch red skinned versions of ourself run around drinking peoples' blood, as awe striking as that may be. It is all conceptual. Mirror was written for the intellectual audience that sits and ponders the story for a few minutes, and lets the chills creep through the room. At the same time though, this could, theoretically happen, through your psyche. Always people are pushing back emotions and bottling up their anger or depression, refusing to let people in. This story is to represent those feelings coming to some form or life and they aren't too happy that you have them locked up.

So this is really just my 'Word from the Author' kind of thing, to help you guys really look into these pieces a little bit more. To keep updated on my works, watch me on my DA page (the link is above this rant) and I'll try to post things regularly. If you aren't a member, favorite the link, become a member, whatever but, theres how you can read more of my stuff. ^^ So, thanks for reading and voting.

-Shae Kindlewood
Posted 13 years ago
Hard to choose, but since i think mirror things are usually better in horror stuff i'll vote for it..
Posted 13 years ago
Im going with silence, it seems a little bit scarier..
Posted 13 years ago
MIrrors DefImage
Posted 13 years ago
i personally find the first to be the scarier of the two but it needs a little work on the visuals. maybe a line or two more thrown in on the accident and a little less on the feelings about the blond killer.
Posted 13 years ago
I can only have 250 words and phrasing it any other way displeased me. I had to add the description of Jackson so then the fear could be recognized and illustrated when he 'saves' the character. The fear isn't coming from the car crash, that is just what dooms you, the fear is from the foreshadowing of you, the reader, knowing that the main character is walking away with this crazed killer. Believe me, 250 words is TINY. I don't care if it IS a short story, 250 words is horribly small, and I personally would have made it larger, but then I couldn't enter it.

(My horror isn't the killer its the LENGTH requirement TT.TT)
Posted 13 years ago
I'll give my vote to the story #2 (the mirror one)
actually both of them are scary but as mentioned above mirrors have special scary secret components
btw I like your way in writing stories .
good luck .
Posted 13 years ago
Mirrors truly are scary.
Nr. 2.
Posted 13 years ago
mirror D: D:
Posted 13 years ago
Mirror ^.^ i love horror

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