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Once-upon-a-time, there was a young woman who fell in love with a fish. This caused her parents some embarrassment when they went to church. When her father had found out he screamed "What do you mean she's dating a fish!". "He's not an ordinary fish dear, he's one of those anthropomo...

One Saturday morning,Glen decided to go fishing. He sat there for hours,but nothing.The bottle whiskey that he've took with him,was also empty.He throw the empty bottle into pieces against a nearby rock. All of a sudden,there was something on the hook.He pulled the fish out of the water.The only fis...

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's govt conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year...

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flys landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer from him in...

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and sta...

Today's question: What in the world is electricity and where does it go after it leaves the toaster? Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson: On a cool dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of his dent...

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Au...

On the first day of college, the dean/principal addresses the students pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody...

Three nurses died and went to Heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. To the first, he asked, "So, what did you used to do back on Earth? Why do you think you should be allowed to come into Heaven?" "I was a nurse at an inner city hospital," she replied. &qu...

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the...

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