The way you describe it makes it sound pretty bad. Though we all know that IMVU"s system for enforcing their TOS is very illogical and sometimes down right wrong.
However, I have to ask, why were your wife's and your products DMCAd? Were they stolen?
The only advice I can offer you with regards to getting your account back is to do whatever everyone else does. Pester them with help tickets, emails and phone calls for a while then take them to court. That's really all you can do.